YMCLC’s Kellie Robilliard with carer, Denise Broesder at last week’s High Tea.
Behind closed doors across Yarrawonga are people quietly giving an extraordinary part of themselves to care for someone they love.
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Their days can begin before everyone else is awake and continue long into the night, filled with medications, appointments, meals, personal care and the constant responsibility of making sure another person is safe and cared for.
They are wives and husbands, daughters and sons, parents and friends whose own lives can change almost overnight.
Plans are put aside, relationships change, and time for themselves can become a rarity.
Yet many never set out to become carers, and some don’t even think of themselves that way.
To them, they are simply looking after the person they love, doing what needs to be done, one day at a time.
During National Carers Week, the Yarrawonga Mulwala Community and Learning Centre (YMCLC) recognised these often unseen caregivers with a special high tea, bringing about a dozen local carers together to talk, laugh and share experiences with people who understand.
Denise Broesder’s life changed in an instant after her husband’s stroke in 2001.
For Denise Broesder, life changed in a split second when her husband suffered a stroke in 2001, leaving him paralysed down his right side, without his speech, and then he developed epilepsy.
Denise has cared for him for 22 years, but she doesn’t see herself as a carer, simply as a wife.
Her days involve meals, medications, dressing, showering and just being there.
“You’re basically on a 24-hour call,” Denise said.
There were happy times too, including three cruises together, but Denise acknowledged the isolation caring can bring.
“You know who your friends are,” she said.
Denise’s husband died just one month after their 54th wedding anniversary and now the YMCLC carers group provides a safe place to share.
“You can say whatever you like and know it’s not going to go any further,” she said.
Christine Nicholas says her relationship with her husband has changed after becoming his carer 11 years ago.
Christine Nicholas has cared for her husband Doug for 11 years following his stroke and spoke candidly about how their relationship has changed.
“He doesn’t see me as his wife; it’s become carer and patient, basically,” Christine said.
“It’s like you’re on your own as a carer; there’s nothing you share together anymore.”
With loneliness one of the hardest parts, for Christine, connecting with other carers has been invaluable.
“With these ladies, I can be myself; I can tell them things I can’t tell anyone else,” she said.
“They make me believe that I’ll survive this, and that one day I’ll get to live a normal life.
“My real hope is that there will be time for me after this.
“There are things I want to do and I don’t want this to be the end of my life.”
YMCLC community support officer, Kellie Robilliard said last week’s high tea was about recognising carers and saying thank you.
“They all have very different stories, even though they’re on the same caring journey,” Kellie said.
“They come and share their stories, help each other out.
“They’re a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen.”
Kellie said many people don’t recognise themselves as carers.
“You’re the wife doing the job, you’re a parent doing your job as a parent,” she said.
“It’s a selfless job, and we appreciate what they do because you don’t realise it.
“We’re always here for assistance.”
National Carers Week may provide a moment to recognise carers, but around the YMCLC table the message was clear.
Sometimes the greatest support is simply being with someone who understands.
YMCLC provides social connection, information and links to support services, particularly important in a regional community where accessing services can mean travelling to larger centres.
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